AKIN EXPLAINS LATEST GAFFE: BECAUSE I GOT HIGH

Beleaguered Planned Parenthood Director Todd Akin is once again in the spotlight for polarizing remarks made during a television interview. Speaking with an unusually wide-eyed John Stossel, Akin claimed “the female hoo-ha has ways of shutting down the whole process in instances of non Judeo-Christian acts, including scissors, back door, and reverse cowgirl.”

Today in a short video statement funded by the Democratic National Committee, Akin provided some context for his controversial remarks:

“I misspoke. In fact, I was tripping balls on 250 mikes of Lavender Lucy. Whooo-wee!”

“I had been speaking with some of my colleagues about the role of Jesus Christ in government, and one of them—a sneaky Democrat I won’t name—asked me if my beliefs had anything to do with a history of LSD.”

“I don’t like to admit it, but I’m a bit dyslexic, and I thought she said LDS. Or course, President Romney belongs to the Church of The Latter Day Saints, and I’ve always been curious about his faith. So when Mrs. McCaskill offered me a tablet that would explain it all to me without actually reading The Book Of Mormon, I was intrigued.”

“It’s unfortunate that the interview was filmed while I was still under the influence of this powerful hallucinogen. LSD is a hell of a drug.”

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