Wednesday food section: Someone’s in the kitchen with Ann Romney!

Ronald Reagan was famous for his jellybeans. When dignitaries visit President Romney in The Oval Office, he’s sure to offer them a handful of his favorite Mormon Pioneer Trail Mix. The signature blend of nuts, dried fruit, and gold-encrusted foie gras has been such a hit, the White House is releasing a cookbook, Recipes From The Romney’s Table. All recipes use ingredients found in any cupboard or community food pantry, and are adapted for modern, five-job households. Here are a few Executive Branch staples:

Mitt’s Favorite “Job Creator’s Salad”

10-12 years income tax returns

6 large bundles mortgage-backed securities

Palm grease

Chiffonade tax returns and securities.

Retroactively file fresh returns; be careful not to release the distinctive aroma!

Drizzle with palm grease, allowing trickle-down.

Discard and go out to dinner. Undertip.

Serves 1%

Ann’s Stepford Waffles

6 c. White flour

 2 c. White sugar

12 Egg whites

2 c. Skim milk, soured

2 tsp. Mother Cheney’s brand baking soda

Pinch cinnamon*

Pinch nutmeg*

Xanax to taste

Instruct staff to assemble batter. Set aside 10% as tax-deductible tithe.

Serve frigid

*When Mitt makes these, he ignores the non-white ingredients

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