CONVENTION PROTESTS: ROMNEY A HOLOGRAM?

As delegates swarm into the 2016 RNC, they run a gantlet of angry protesters from the farthest fringes of their party, all demanding an answer to the same question:

Is Mitt Romney a hologram?

These are the most vocal representatives of the “Mirther” movement, a loose collective that questions Romney’s humanity. Spurred by an unsubstantiated email campaign, they are demanding that Romney release his long form birth certificate, or at least a warranty card.

Their key points of evidence are Romney’s absence of credible human emotions, and the fact that he disappears in photographs taken from certain angles.

With his superb grooming and wooden manner, Romney has many hallmarks of a manufactured commodity.

Romney’s “father” George Romney was president of now-defunct American Motors from 1954 to 1962, so some Mirthers believe the President is a product of AMC’s advanced engineering lab, which is known to have experimented with holograms in the early 1960s.

Rush Limbaugh has been promoting a lower-tech theory that Romney is actually a piece of animatronic hardware, “like a Japanese sex robot.”

In spite of the difficulty navigating the lines of unruly protesters, most delegates were unaffected by the Mirther mob. June Mayhew of Davenport, Iowa seemed to speak for most of them as she cheerfully maintained “I don’t know if he’s a hologram or not, but he’s extremely lifelike, and I think he’s been just great for the country.”

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One thought on “CONVENTION PROTESTS: ROMNEY A HOLOGRAM?

  1. Cecelia says:

    Funny, funny post, laughed at each paragraph…….. So close to true tho. Or maybe he and his ilk are GMO…….

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